Ah, sharing. Let’s be real. We were born not wanting to share. Micah’s favorite phrase is “NO! MINE!” I feel a little hypocritical correcting him, because that’s exactly how I feel about him. If I had the freedom to speak my mind like a toddler does, I’d be saying “No! Mine!” about my Moo a lot.
I have to share Micah. I have to hand him off to the babysitter. I control that environment, and it isn’t so hard. I have to leave him with his Mimi and Papa. They respect my parenting choices, with a healthy dose of spoiling. It isn’t so hard. I have to hand him over to his dad. I have no control. Over parenting choices or the environment. Over who is around my sweet baby. Nothing. That is hard. As a married mom, you and your husband probably work together in raising your children. Try raising your child, knowing that another person is also raising him in a slightly different way. Micah’s dad is a GOOD dad. Micah is safe with him, cared for and loved. But there’s an instinct in me that wants to say “NO! MINE! My choices, my methods, do it my way!”
Really, I could have titled this #3 – Protection. I don’t want to share him because I feel he is best protected in my arms. A mother’s protective instinct is not to be messed with. Being a single mom took that instinct into overdrive. It’s all on me. It’s my number one job. I think of all the hurt that may come his way. Boo-boos, sickness, heartbreak, tragedy. If I had it my way, he would never even scrape his knee. But that is not reality. Reality for Micah is much harder. He doesn’t know it yet, but he is starting out his life with a big hurt. Someday he is going to understand that his family is broken. He won’t even remember a time when it wasn’t.
Once again, it all comes down to trusting God. He is not best protected when he is with me, he is best protected with God. It is NOT all on me. I’m not supposed to raise Micah my way. I’m supposed to raise him how God intended. And he is not really mine, but “on loan” to me by God. I have an enormous responsibility to help Micah build a solid foundation for his life. And I have to trust that God will protect that.
For me, it is about relinquishing control. I do not know what is best for my child. Not on my own anyway. That is hard for a mother to admit, but it’s true. I can try to do it my way. Raise him my way, protect him my way. My way is not the best way.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:9 (NIV)
Some Mimi and Papa spoiling!
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