You all should get an award for patience. If I had a nickel for every time I checked the stats and felt guilty for my dry spells…. It’s kind of the nature of the beast though, right? Single mom has blog. Single mom gets busy. Single mom puts blog on back burner. Rinse and repeat. Thanks for your faithfulness!
As a reward, I’ve arranged a surprise for you. We have a guest poster this week! My sweet friend Genevieve graciously accepted my pleas to “PLEASE WRITE SOMETHING FOR MY BLOG!” I’ve been blessed to have someone like Genevieve around. We have hurts and triumphs in common, but no single mom’s story is exactly the same; my walk is not like her walk. That’s exactly why I asked her to write for us. I’m hoping this won’t be the only time I’ll harass her into sharing. She has great pearls of wisdom. I’ve benefited from them, I know you will too.
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So, here I am. I’m a 27 year old, Christian woman, who is divorced and now a single parent to two beautiful children ages 6 and 4. Divorce was never something I expected, who does really? My parents and almost all of my friend’s parents were and still are married.
I could blame the fact that I’m divorced on any number of reasons.We got married too fast, too young, without counsel. We were raised differently and it just stopped working. We didn’t really love each other. You name it, it was there. But I can tell you with confidence the reason I am divorced is because I followed peace, prayed without ceasing and sought Godly counsel.
Ever since my ex left a year and a half ago he has slowly faded out of the picture. I am now in the position to play all the parenting roles and having to rely on God for every single thing that we need. I have to keep a constant line of communication open so I can hear His voice in raising my children. I’m not perfect, its hard and sometimes I have no idea what to do. A lot of the time it seems, I have no idea what to do. But each time I can look back and see that His grace has sustained me and that keeps me pushing forward.
If I could make one point through this post it would be this: Even when it’s dark, lonely, painful and seemingly hopeless, keep pressing on. Going through a divorce is like trying to run through sludge while it’s pitch black and someone is beating you with a stick. I hated every minute of it. Sin brings death and you can feel the death from a place deep inside your heart.
Since my divorce I have sought counsel, prayed, and really taken steps to be healed not only for myself but for my children and my future spouse. To truly dig deep and get at the pain and the hard spots that have been created in my heart and life has been so important in the process of my healing. As I continue I’m sure there will be things I find, areas of fear and pain that I will still have to deal with. It’s so difficult and sometimes overwhelming but its so worth it.
I’ve struggled in writing this blog post because I don’t want to come across as an advocate for divorce. Even through it all, I desire to be married again. I believe in marriage as a God ordained gift. I believe that God has a wonderful man ready to love and lead us closer to Him. I have faith that wholeness and love are in our future.
God’s undying love has sustained me. Through court dates, restraining orders, custody decisions, lawyers, signing papers, tears, heartache, confusion and frustration, He has walked beside me and guided me the entire way.
The Lord will work out his plans for my life, for your faithful love, oh Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me. Psalms 138:8
Me and my children at my daughter’s kindergarten graduation.
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